A "Fulfill"-ing Start To A Career

(When we last left The Great Dungeon Master In The Sky, he was just about to roll again for me...)

When "Fulfillment" Has Multiple Meanings

After my solo days stuffing envelopes with Deluxe Paint upgrades, the "real" EA job started in a new department named "Fulfillment". Sharon Haug gave the three of us who were hired to be the first in this new department both a pep talk, and a reality check - "Welcome to EA!...I do have to tell you that we have to ship $30,000 in orders in three months or you're all fired!"

To try and make sure that the "fired" part of the message didn't come true, EA had come up with a mail-in promotion to quickly goose sales - the "Buy 1 - Get 1 Free" promotion. EA had distributed coupons to most of their dealers, as well as placing advertisements in most/all of the computer gaming magazines of that time outlining the promotion. All that customers had to do was send in the coupon with their request for what software they wanted for "free", a proof-of-purchase from the piece of EA software that they had bought, plus a nominal fee to cover shipping. Customers could also call in directly and make their "Buy 1 - Get 1 Free" purchase over the phone.

We were stuffed into (what used to be) a closet with boxes of software, phones, and terminals for order input. There were also packing materials - tape guns, folding shipping boxes, and a rubber stamp to inform the postal worker that software was inside the box. Madeline Hilleman & Bambi Borja trained us on how to input orders, and then we got to work. The work was hectic, but I was just so thrilled to be working at Electronic Arts, that it didn't matter to me.

The one thing that I didn't count on, but did discover during my opening weeks at EA - everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE, that I met when wandering the halls of EA were just great people - intelligent, enthusiastic, and (most all of them) very friendly. They all also seemed to know who the three of us were and what we were tasked with. It was very welcoming!

I want to share some stories from the first few Friday Company Meetings I attended, but I think the NDA that I signed when I came into the company prohibits me from doing so (although I am going to call you out, Chris Wilson, for bear-napping my "good luck charm" stuffed bear Arthur in advance of one of these meetings and locking him away where I could see him, but couldn't get to him).

"Feed The Animals!"

During those first weeks, and as I was introduced to more people, I came across Candy (now) Halbig who was selling a candy bar to a fellow EA employee for the staggeringly low price of 25 cents. On the fly, I thought it would be a neat idea to buy a bunch of candy bars and "Feed The Animals" around EA...so that is what I did! I wandered around the snaking halls of EA with a plate full of different sweets, and offered them to those I came across while proclaiming in a silly voice "Feed The Animals!" I got giggles, strange looks, and eventual acceptance by those I made the offer to. I loved doing this - meeting the people, and bringing a smile to their faces. I would do this a couple of times a week (even after we moved).

Speaking of moving...

"A Bigger Boat"

Since our Fulfillment group was crammed into a closet at the Campus Drive address out of necessity, it came as little surprise to me that EA was getting too big for their current facility. Plans had been in place for a while and, during those initial 90 days of my employ, the company did indeed move to Gateway Drive. Since my main focus was on meeting our sales goal as a department (so that I might be able to keep my job), I was more than a little worried about the down time while we were actually getting setup in in the new facility and couldn't process any of the mail orders coming in or even take phone calls. I was also excited to be getting out of the tiny closet we had been in...That was why I was so thrilled to arrive that first day at Gateway Drive to be led to our new space for Fulfillment - a larger closet! Okay, that isn't exactly fair, but we were out-of-the-way in a windowless room and no outside indication that we were even in there. On the plus side - the area was much larger, had shelves where we could store product rather than working out of boxes as we had been, and a counter top where we could much more easily pack our shipments up. Within a couple of days, we were back up and running! Hiring A "Keyboard Player"

As we settled into our new digs, it became very apparent to Sharon that, try as we might, the three of us couldn't keep up with the volume of orders we were receiving - too many phone calls, too much mail full of coupons & proofs-of-purchase from customers responding to the "Buy 1 - Get 1 Free" offer, both of which resulted in too many orders to pack & ship each day. She strategically thought out loud about how to help us out most. She posited that, if she hired someone as a temp to only do order input, the three of us could handle the rest of the work. I overheard her, and offered my brother Edward up as a possible order entry person - I knew from his keyboard musicianship that he had very nimble fingers and could, probably, apply this talent to our order entry terminal. To my delight, she agreed to give him a chance. Since he was living with me at the time, I suddenly had a "commute buddy" too! My instincts regarding Edward's speed and abilities paid immediate dividends - the three of us could indeed (mostly) keep up with the volume of the rest of the work when we no longer had to worry about mail order input. Since our room was out of the way, a boom box was added playing music during our work day. One of the songs still getting airplay at that time was Dire Straits' "Money For Nothing". One time after it played, I did a crummy Sting impersonation and sang "Buy one and get one free". Edward got a good giggle out of this, as did I, and we just got on with the work...(for now)... A Brief Interlude For Any "Cagey Old Vets" Reading This

Before I just "get on with it" and tell the rest of the story/stories that I want to tell, I would be remiss if I didn't give my profound thanks to all of the Electronic Arts' employees that actually created and built the company before I was fortunate enough to have squeezed my way in through the back door - whether or not you acknowledge it, you all created something magical that was very much alive and breathing for many, many years. The "EA Culture", and the original Company Values were real to me because you all made it so!...(this also pertains to so many of the original content creators, titled "Artists"/"Artist Groups" back-in-the-day, who made their creations for EA)...

If I could Feed The Animals one last time by visiting each of you to thank you, I would!

::: getting down off my soapbox :::

Troubles In Paradise

Okay...where was I???

Oh yeah - three of us working in a windowless room...Edward inputting orders so quickly that the keys smoked sometimes...tons of orders coming in and being processed...just as many orders being packaged-and-shipped...boom box playing music in the background...

After about the 45 day mark, it was obvious that Sharon's initial goals for Fulfillment were going to be met (and rather easily at that). While I did a quick exhale to acknowledge that I would (probably) still have a job after 90 days, that didn't mean that everything went super smooth for us:

• Some people sent in the incorrect pieces from their purchases as their Proof Of Purchase (or no money for postage)

• Others sent in Proof Of Purchase items from non-EA products and expected us to send them a free product

• A few people called in to threaten legal action against EA, claiming that the "Buy 1 - Get 1 Free" promotion was a con

• Many customers bought EA products that weren't eligible for the promotion (or requested others as their freebie that weren't eligible either) and expected us to fulfill their requests

All of these little frustrations, plus "Money For Nothing" playing in the background every so often, plus the EA Culture being inviting enough to not only allow, but support, off-the-wall submissions at the Friday Company Meetings, I started thinking about creating full parody lyrics for "Money For Nothing" beyond the one line I sang previously about the "Buy 1 - Get 1 Free" promotion.

Yes, Ray Tobey, your (ineligible-for-promotion) product inspired some of our lyric creation

"I'll Have A Banzai Burger (And A Lot More Napkins To Write On)"

One of the benefits of the Gateway Drive location, was that we were close to a mall with several potential options for lunchtime eating. One day, Edward and I made the trek to the mall to eat at Red Robin, as well as discuss my silly idea of creating parody lyrics for "Money For Nothing" (plus the even sillier idea of potentially performing the resulting song at an upcoming Friday Company Meeting).

Over burgers, steak fries, and refills of Diet Coke, we scrawled our potential lyrics on stacks of napkins. By the time we finished our meal, the bones of the song had been created. We transferred our napkin scribbles to legal pads and refined them over the coming days...a couple of weeks later, we had what we thought was a finished song.

Now all that was needed were musicians, instruments, amps & mikes, and (most importantly) permission to perform at the Friday Company Meeting.

"Pssst...We're Putting A Band Together..."

Since I was already wandering the halls from time-to-time to "Feed The Animals", I started asking around for people willing to help this silly pipe dream come true. Greg Riker was one of the first to show an interest in helping out. Jon Medek agreed to play guitar...I know there were others who helped, but I am drawing a blank now (if you were a part of this and I forgot you - ping me and I will add you). I think that it was Greg who got permission for us to play at the Friday Company Meeting (I may of been there too, but I have no clear memory at this point).

Late Friday afternoon came, and everyone crammed their way into the main conference room for the Friday Company Meeting past all of the musical equipment that was blocking the entryway somewhat. I remember a lot of people wondering what the heck was going on. Trip went through his normal presentation of that week's news as people drank beer & soda, and ate chips & cookies. When he was done, it was time to see if all of the effort was worth it.

As his last official action at Electronic Arts, my brother Edward played keyboard and sang the lead, while I did my crummy Sting impersonation, Jon Medek riffed on his guitar, and I believe that Greg had sequenced the drum part for our performance.

The song went over better than I had ever imagined that it would - a lot of laughter, rhythmic clapping, and even some singing along with the "Buy one and get one free" refrain at the end of the song...It was actually requested that we play it again, which we did, before ending the meeting officially...it is one of my strongest memories of my early days at EA...

This did start something within EA - other talented musicians and songwriters at EA created their own tunes, and Greg Riker recorded all of them, and produced an album that would be titled "Best Of EA - 1986". Every employee received a copy around holiday time (if I remember the timing correctly).

[do I hear The Great Dungeon Master In The Sky getting ready to roll the dice for me again???...(isn't he getting tired of this yet???)...]

As always, if you made it this far - thank you so much for reading! I hope you found it interesting / entertaining!